Lift: Practical Faith
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Lift: Practical Faith
S7E12: How do you raise a strong Christian?
As a parent and former children's pastor, I've often grappled with weaving faith into the tapestry of everyday family life. This episode is a heartfelt reflection on that very journey, exploring how the season of Lent can be a profound time to reinforce faith foundations in our children. In a world where actions speak louder than words, I delve into the transformative power of aligning our deeds with our teachings, especially in the watchful eyes of our little ones. We share stories and offer advice on how to simplify parenting by naturally incorporating faith into daily routines, all while ensuring the consistent demonstration of the fruits of the spirit.
Mental well-being is uncharted territory for many families, but it's a path I've navigated with my child, Dylan, as we faced the storm of anxiety together. In this heart-to-heart, I open up about our personal struggles and triumphs, marrying counseling with the solace found in scripture. Our conversation extends to how we, as a family, practice our faith—beginning with morning devotions and extending through our day-to-day interactions. By sharing my experience as an educator and spiritual guide, I hope to illuminate the delicate balance of protecting our children's innocence while preparing them for life's challenges, all within a framework of faith.
The journey toward Christian perfection is an ongoing trek, not a destination, and it's one best shared with others. This episode celebrates the strength found in supportive communities and the rich, theological dialogue that nurtures faith within the family. I recount how tackling tough questions together can lead to a deeper understanding of our beliefs. We wrap up with a look back at the season's learnings and a celebration of the joyous bonds forged when a family's foundation is deeply rooted in faith. Join us for an episode that reaffirms the beauty of raising faithful children through conversation and shared experiences.
If you have any questions, give Kim a shout at kmeyers@standrewmethodist.org. Want Kim to speak at an event? Go to kimmeyers.org to see availability.
Welcome to Lift. This is season seven of this podcast, where this season we're going to be talking still about faith in life, but we're going to be asking questions about faith. We're going to start this season asking about Lent and the season of Lent. As Christians, why do we celebrate it? What is it and why does it matter to me? I'm hoping that you will find new insights into Lent, holy Week and Easter. Then we're going to continue to ask questions about faith, questions that you probably have that maybe you've just never asked, maybe questions your kid have asked you that you don't quite know how to respond. We're going to dive into those and see what it can mean for us and how asking questions can help're going to dive into those and see what it can mean for us and how asking questions can help us connect to our faith. Well, welcome back. I believe this is episode 12, so I am told C C. Are we now a bilingual?
Speaker 2:podcast.
Speaker 1:That made no sense, the answer is yes.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Or in Hebrew ken. You're sure You're still learning that? Yeah, cool, ken, Ken Means, yes, means, yes. Okay, so this week and I'm sorry, I just want to apologize again if y'all listen to our outtakes of the music, because in a way, that's episode 12, but I'm not really going to number that it because, in a way, that's episode 12, but I'm not really going to number that it was just for fun. Okay, winston, here we go. What you got.
Speaker 2:Episode 12. My question is how do you raise a good Christian?
Speaker 1:Define good.
Speaker 2:Ooh, ooh. So I would say someone who's very, very well. I don't. I almost said something bad. I was going to say not knowledgeable, but I'm not worried about that part. But I think, as we talk about the fruits of the spirit, that carries that fruit of the spirit with them every day, Like so. I'm assuming, when you explained to me the fruit of the spirit song, you were teaching that at camp. What were you teaching? How did you relate that to the children at that point for them to understand how to take that information and go forth? How do you instill?
Speaker 1:that Are you asking me how to raise Christian children? Well, you've raised two Christian boys I have.
Speaker 2:You should be applauded.
Speaker 1:That was a fast clap, okay, you did ited. Thank you, slow clap for that. That was a fast clap, okay.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I mean, and you did it deliberately, I did, I did. So what would be your advice?
Speaker 1:Okay, first of all, let me name my children are older, they're not fully adults, but closer to that than children. You're almost through the finish line, almost man. I'm renovating my upstairs already in my head. And listen, I love our youngest. I'm going to be sad when he leaves, but it's time, like it's time. Empty nesting is time. What I would say is don't make it hard, explain. I think parenting is hard enough. It is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, most horrific thing I've ever done in my life, yet the best thing I've ever done in my life. Okay, don't make it harder than what it needs to be Kind of like somebody gave me this advice when my kids were younger and just answer the question that they're asking you because, because, as adults, we have a very different perspective.
Speaker 1:For example, when a kid is six and they ask do babies really come out of mommy's belly? They don't want the full-blown stages of childbirth, right, they don't need to know about dilation, they don't need to know about pregnancy pains, they don't need to know about pregnancy pains. They just need to know that. Yes, yeah. Now if you were a said family, you might say well, it's actually the uterus, but we can talk more about that later, things like but just answer the question, right, we get so nervous about making making that's the word I'm going to use making Christians, okay, it's not ours to make, it's God's work to do. We just have to invite our homes to have the space to do it well, and so, in that I'm like, make it a rhythm of your life.
Speaker 1:Now let me say I realized when Dan and I had kids, I had such a gift in having my first degree in early childhood and language development. Right Like that was cool that I had that in my back pocket. Right Like I knew tricks of the trade, I did love and logic as a teacher, and so I had all these tricks up my sleeve. Right, right, like I knew tricks of the trade, I did love and logic as a teacher, and so I had all these tricks up my sleeve. I was also raised in a Christian home. I don't know life without God in it, and so my parents, I think, did a good job of just weaving Christianity into who. We are not making it like this separate box, like now it's Christian time, right, right.
Speaker 1:And so to me, winston, that's the most simple thing you can do is weave faith into things, weave God into things. And are you going to ask me how to do that now?
Speaker 2:No, no, I wasn't actually Okay, you going to ask me how to do that now. No, no, I wasn't that close, okay. So no, I was going to wonder as you're weaving? As you're weaving is a big part of that. Like you said, living your life that way.
Speaker 1:Is living your life that way like a really big part of the weaving, yeah, people who say one thing and do another, it conflicts. And the children smell it.
Speaker 1:They smell it, they taste it. It's kind of like fear, like when they know you're afraid. But even like an infant, right. When you are anxious around that infant, that infant feels that energy and it cries and it's not calm, right. If you, you know same thing with children and adults, right, like we all have that kind of sense of how you doing You're not doing great, okay. But like weaving it in both, in simple things blessing the food before you eat, saying a prayer at night, like simple, right. But if that's all you're doing, it doesn't help incorporate it into the things, right? So, mommy, I'm scared about this. We used to go and bless the school before the first day of school. My boys and I would walk the campus, say a prayer over the campus. By that time we typically knew what room was theirs and we would go to that window and say a prayer over it and I'd look at them and say you're not alone in this campus, you're walking in with God as your best friend, right? Things like that.
Speaker 2:Quick question. So they were coming to you saying they're kind of anxious about it and that was your way to handle that, or was it just something you did? It was just something we did, no matter what, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I also am the mom that took first day of school pictures the night before. Kim, what man the first day of school is stressful.
Speaker 2:It's rough.
Speaker 1:I completely understand and so I could check that off my list. So we would put clothes on you cheated and did it the night before.
Speaker 2:I didn't cheat, it was not the first day of school.
Speaker 1:I mean almost. By the time I took the pictures it was the same 24-hour period. They're not going to grow that much overnight. They're not going to change what they look like standing at my front door. So I chose to make life simpler and so we did not have to take pictures on the first day of school. We would go to the school without 100 other people and we would stand by the school sign which already said the first day of school, by the way, winston, and we would take pictures by the school sign. We would take pictures by the school name, and then we would walk the school and pray and then we would take pictures by the front door and I'd say, go, get your backpack, and they would hold their backpack and we'd take pictures, and then we'd eat dinner and go to bed and I didn't have to worry about first day of school pictures. On the first day of school You'd check that box.
Speaker 2:They're done, done. That's one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time.
Speaker 1:It's just smart, work smarter, not harder. You're going to take them, do it. But honestly, it was this first day of school picture thing, some of these things that I do just happened. So we're at the school the day before school taking first day of school pictures, yep, and it was like hey, why don't we pray right now? You know, then it just it kind of became a thing, yeah, weaving prayer in talking about faith in times where you might struggle reading scripture together, asking questions about it.
Speaker 1:Listen, I'm really proud of my kids and their faith. Yes, I had a lot to do with it, but also teeny tiny to do with it. Listen, I'm really proud of my kids and their faith. Yes, I had a lot to do with it, but also teeny tiny to do with it. It's other adults in their lives, surrounding themselves with other adults, who did the walk and talk the talk right that they could go to with questions.
Speaker 1:It was like in the Methodist church we do a confirmation class where they got to learn about just Christianity as a whole and ask questions and develop their own faith. As they've gotten older, they're going to church, and I mean Dylan went to prom a couple weeks ago and he was at church the next Sunday and I was so proud of that, like all of his groups of friends. They ended prom he was here in his tux, by the way, he looked good, but they ended prom here, which is, I mean, so cheesy and I hope somebody's rolling their eyes at me right now Because I got to tell you right now I would not have been at church the morning after prom in my teenage years or maybe I was, but my mom dragged me there.
Speaker 2:It wasn't by my own choice.
Speaker 1:But I think also showing them that this is a place that loves them and cares for them fully good days, bad days, when you're tired, when you're not that this is an important part of your rhythm and to be engaged in it and ask questions about it and all that kind of stuff. So not to give too much of a shout out, but we did a podcast with Jimmy and Brian Colligan called Sticky Faith. It's one of my favorite books about how to raise a Christian and it's sticky faith, it's faith that sticks right. I think that's ultimately what you're asking is how do you?
Speaker 1:Because I know a lot of my friends who are pastors. Their kids don't have faith Really. Yeah, you know, listen, I was talking to somebody and they were like God, it must be hard being a pastor and friends with all you know. Like it was the prom night and we went to dinner with all the friends and I was like, honestly, I think it's harder on my kids than it is me, you know, because they have this like unnecessary label that they need to be better and do better. I accepted that label, like I chose that they were born into it.
Speaker 1:But the sticky faith model of having faith. You've got to let them ask questions. You've got to let them figure it out for their own and take your parents faith right, because that's the beginning of faith right is learning, listening, doing. And then they've got to be able to take that faith and make it theirs. If your kids are carrying around a backpack of your faith and it's not slowly morphing into their own faith the way that they I've shared this before.
Speaker 1:I haven't asked Dylan so I won't get too into it, but he had a period in his life where he really dealt with some severe anxiety. Let me say we went to a lot of counseling. This was not just God healed him through scripture okay, I don't want people to hear that but part of that healing was reading some scriptures about don't be anxious, and he was like I don't understand why God would say this to me, because that is who I am right, and it was leaning into those but looking at the fullness of the scripture and seeing. And so now sometimes, when he feels that part of his personality growing, he can lean into scripture to help calm it through his faith, and that's something he had to learn how to do. I cannot do that for him.
Speaker 2:Well, it's great that he was even able to have a relationship where y'all could even have that conversation to figure out how to get to where you got to right, because I think that's a lot of it too right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I think also I'm unique in the fact that I was a school teacher, right.
Speaker 2:And then I was going to seminary as my kids were growing up Right Like I went to seminary.
Speaker 1:You were coming home like, yeah, well, and I was a children's pastor, I was in seminary and I had a kindergartner Like when I started here, dylan was six, yeah. And so I used to always say to myself I did this in the classroom too, like, if I don't want to give homework, that are going to make parents come and knock on my front door and be like what you doing? I also didn't want to give things or do things in my ministry that I wouldn't practically do myself, and so I think a lot of the things that I did were semi experiments for my work. Okay, right, yeah, and so in a way, I feel like my kids maybe got a little bit more Jesus and faith practices, partially because I was studying that and I wanted to experiment and see what worked and what didn't, and that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:They were your guinea pigs. They were.
Speaker 1:They were your guinea pigs. They were, I mean, like. Another thing that just happened was we used to read a morning devotion at the breakfast table. What was it Jesus Calling? It was just a kid's devotion and we would read it at the breakfast table. But, as I admitted, sometimes mornings can be stressful, which is why we did pictures the night before. Winston, I think that's genius which is hilarious. But there was one morning where it was time to go to school. I was like just grab the devotion book.
Speaker 2:I didn't know those mornings.
Speaker 1:In the kindest Christian voice I could. Well, then it became on the way to school, we read the Devotion. Oh, okay, and it was delightful and something that centered us before they got out of the car and you know that kind of stuff. That wasn't something I planned or was like. Well, you know, I feel like before my children go to the school building, we're going to read the Word of God together. No, it was grab the devotion book. Before my children go to the school building, we're going to read the Word of God together. No, it was grab the devotion book. And then it became a part of our routine. That was helpful.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, I also got called out by my children often. I remember I was teaching at some something and one of my kids was there and I talked about doing a devotion every day and my son was like, I don't ever see you doing a devotion. He was like pretty much I can't believe you just lied to this group of people. What I realized is he never did see me do a devotion. I did devotions before they got up in the morning, by yourself, by myself, or sometimes man.
Speaker 1:At some phases I used to have my devotion book on my bathroom counter. I'd be like doing my makeup, doing my devotion, right, I also had it next to the coffee maker, because that was the first thing I would do in the morning is get a cup of coffee and do my devotion. What I realized was I never did it in front of my kids. He was right Like he never saw me do that and so I kind of faked it. I would still have my cup of coffee with God and my devotion by myself, because I needed that, yeah, to be a better mom, better wife to my husband and just human in general. But then when they would come downstairs for breakfast, I would get the book out and just kind of have you ever heard about this? You know, like I realized, though I wasn't, sometimes I lean too much in that fruits of the spirit stuff, that who I am is Christian. Yeah, I didn't show my kids the practices of faith also.
Speaker 2:I would say, my parents would probably say the exact same statement yeah, yeah, but that's not. But you shouldn't, right? You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:I mean again, we would pray at the dinner table Right. If there was a siren in the car, we would say a prayer for the ambulance or the fire truck.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's like a siren in the car. Yeah, like that, like if we were driving and there was like we would do that.
Speaker 1:We would say different prayers before bed. Okay, you know, we experienced some tragedy in our life through some friends who died. We also my husband got sick. I did not shield them from the faith component of those things. And also, though you've pointed it out to me, recently, I have a different rhythm. Like I do a funeral on a Tuesday or officiate a memorial service I think is the better way to say that and or I do hospital visits, like last night I called my son. I was like, hey, I won't be home, I'm at the hospital. And it was like, oh, okay, like it wasn't this weird thing. And so I think in some of that too, my perspective is always shifted a little bit to what's really important, and it's usually not what you think it is. And when you have that faith in that reality in your life constantly, it helps you speak about the Tuesdays of life in a more practical, faithful way.
Speaker 1:And I do recognize I'm a little bit unique in when my kids were growing up, I was in seminary, I was doing children's ministry and family ministry. So you know like even when I was a school teacher and still when I was a children's pastor, I led a class called Love and Logic, which is kind of a parenting style class. Okay, and my kids would always be like, oh my gosh, are you doing Love and Logic again? Because it would like remind me of things I need to do in my parenting Right. The same thing happens with faith. You are not going to be consistently amazing with teaching faith to your kids, but in moments where you need it the most, that's where you got to your kids. But in moments where you need it the most, that's where you've got to dig in and lean in. It is not a one-stop shop either. It is not a one-size-fits-all. Your house is your house is your house is not my house. And so you've got to find your own rhythms, you know, and sometimes the rhythms find you right, like get the Bible.
Speaker 2:Put it in the car.
Speaker 1:I mean, which is not how I wanted to start my day, and I'll say, sometimes the devotion reading, it was fights in the car about who got to read the devotion and I was like we should be better than this.
Speaker 1:But in that the devotion became a part of the rhythm. The devotion also gave us ways to talk about God, that I wouldn't just be like driving down the street and be like have you thought about da-da-da-da-da? It gave me, as a parent, a stepping off point to bring God into that situation. Off point to bring God into that situation. You know, one thing I think, like Judaism does well, is say prayers for each thing. Like they have a blessing. Before you drink water, they have a blessing. Before you eat dairy they have a blessing. Do you mean like?
Speaker 1:every time before. It depends on, like Hasidic Jews, yeah, like every single time you take a drink of water, you thank God for that water.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:That is not a rhythm that I have. Even early Christians had morning, noon, evening prayers, right. There's books about that and I do think there's something important about recognizing the things that we have in our life and that God is at the center of it.
Speaker 2:And finding a way to interweave that in your daily routine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, yeah. What are my family rules, winston?
Speaker 2:Oh, I remember this. Hold on, no, I don't Go.
Speaker 1:Number one. When they were younger I used this Make good choices. When they got older, number one became don't be stupid, I mean. I think that's kind of the Ten Commandments right.
Speaker 1:Make good choices, don't be stupid. Number two you remember anything? Remember whose you are, which is a beloved child of God, created perfectly in God's image. Yeah, good, because if that can be your identity, if that can be your center, that you are a beloved child of God. It's just going to work out better Because we have so many titles in our lives, we have so many things, and if you think about children, right, third grade student council, and you make a poster and you say a speech in front of people and your friend got it and you didn't, and it is devastating. But guess what? You're still a beloved child of God. And oh, here's the tricky one. So is your friend who won, and so how can we be kind and gracious to that person?
Speaker 2:Stop inferencing.
Speaker 1:No, winston, you congratulate them and you're happy for them, even if you might be a little jealous in it, right. Right, I mean not making the football team boyfriend, girlfriend breaking up with you becoming second chair instead of first chair, like you name it, right, I mean second chair instead of first chair, like you name it right. These things, and I'll say in this DFW Metroplex, the intensity that our children go through is too much. It's too much Yet, and so is the world. So teaching them to be resilient, that's a big educator word, but I believe faith can teach them to be resilient, that's a big educator word, but I believe faith can teach them to be resilient.
Speaker 1:I've said before my Bible, I love my Bible and I love reading it. But I love reading it because what is it written for? It's telling us stories. It's showing us the human condition is not perfect. When I taught first grade, I used to say to them if I wanted perfection, six-year-olds isn't where I would choose to be, but I don't care where you're at. Perfection is not the only thing you know. One thing we say when we get ordained is that we are striving towards Christian perfection. Okay, which really bothered me because I mean, can we actually be perfect, but you're not striving.
Speaker 2:Exactly we're striving. That's the goal. You know you're never going to get there.
Speaker 1:That's the goal, until Jesus comes and takes me home, and he'll probably sit me down for a while before perfection is achieved. Paul Paul will probably sit me down too. Paul Paul probably sent me down too. But you know, I think the other thing about raising faithful Christians is just don't stop, don't make it harder than it is and don't stop. Ground them with people like that net of people, I believe, is what has helped our boys form their faith in a way that Dan and I couldn't do alone.
Speaker 2:Right, that's a poor system of community. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I mean Dan and I have. I mean remember the poor guy married a schoolteacher, not a preacher. He didn't grow up in the church, the rhythm, he didn't grow up going to summer camp, that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:I mean he went to church but it wasn't like this rhythm right like it is in, was in my life and is in our lives. But he also has never countered that rhythm like there's a difference in like a marriage where partners counter one another. When it comes to faith, he has always supported the faith in our family and has great theological discussion. You know like he questions things with my boys still, you know that kind of stuff, and so I think it's just don't make faith something you don't talk about. Make it, don't. You don't have to have all the answers.
Speaker 1:I remember my kids asked me something once and I didn't know the answer and my little smarty mouth child I don't know where he gets it from goes well, I thought you were in seminary. But again, we shouldn't have all the answers. We should have lots of questions and we should have the ability to find the answers together. I would also beg you not to just say let's go ask blah, blah, blah. Now if you need guidance, go to somebody in your church, absolutely. But go together and learn together. Don't make it something that you can't do together, like learn together, grow together.
Speaker 2:You're saying you would never just send them. Don't just say well, you go ask blah, blah blah.
Speaker 1:You're saying okay yeah, ms Kim will help you with that. I mean, another way would be let's go ask Ms Kim about that and find out Gotcha and then continue the conversation. That's the other thing. Just keep it ongoing. Faith is not a checkbox that you are ever done with. Keep it ongoing and don't be afraid of the hard questions. Who is God? Does God love me? When I blah, blah, blah, just say what do you think? That's one of the best ways to answer those questions what do you think? And then, if you don't know or you're stuck or whatever, get guidance. But just keep the conversations about faith, about God, going in your home. That's the simplest way.
Speaker 2:Do you think they're going to follow in your footsteps? No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1:No, I think they will follow. And that's the other thing, winston, that I you've got to let them be who they are. Yeah, like we were in an event the other day and my youngest was with me who loves humans, but at a distance, and I was like, hey, do you want to walk around with me and greet like the whole church? And he just kind of stared at me. I was like, hey, do you want to walk around with me and greet like the whole church? And he just kind of stared at me. I was like, okay, I'll be back and again, it's fine. My oldest son would have been like, oh, yeah, actually I've already greeted half the church you know, and they're both excellent in who they are and perfect in who they are.
Speaker 1:So no, I don't think I have a preacher coming up the way. But who knows, who knows, who knows? I don't know, we'll see. Neither one of them are getting degrees in religion. I'll say that. Yet I got mine later in life. So we can see. What about you? Do you have any tricks? You're raising kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean tricks. About having faithful kids. No, not any. No, not any like. No, that's a do you do one thing that you're like, yeah, I do that no, yes, but has no, it has nothing to do with I tell stories when we go to bed. So okay, I make up stories, I make up stories I like that yeah so do they give you, like, a setting that you have to follow. Characters Okay.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm going to start doing that when I come to your office. Okay, I need a story with Goldilocks, noah and Arthur Jones.
Speaker 2:Right, see, and then I would take that and do a whole. It's arms waving, it's a big production. I love that, see, but that's waving.
Speaker 1:it's a big production. I love that, See, but that's creating community in your family. Yeah and joy, which is one of the fruits of the spirit.
Speaker 2:Winston, yes, big on joy yeah.
Speaker 1:Huge on joy. So I believe this is our last podcast of the season. Yeah, I think so I have really enjoyed you joining me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really enjoyed finding out that you cheated and took those pictures before the first day of school.
Speaker 1:I mean, I didn't cheat, I am practical.
Speaker 2:Practical. Yes, that is the exact word of it Practical. We've talked about that so much.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're just jealous.
Speaker 2:It's brilliant, actually See, because those first day of school are so stressful.
Speaker 1:Okay, let me ask you one thing, yep. What have you learned this season?
Speaker 2:I've learned a lot Lent. So I mean I can't tell you how much I've learned about Lent and Holy Week. I mean didn't know anything about it going in. Now I know I feel very confident, I could speak to it. Awesome To anyone. I think most of, if I'm being honest, what I actually feel like I've learned is that it's there's a human element to all of this that I thoroughly enjoy having conversations about. So I think that's the thing that I am grateful for learning the most of like having these opportunities to just sit down and talk to you and then understand, like, how do I walk away from this and do better? Yeah, that's the best way to put it.
Speaker 1:Well, you have helped me find ways to articulate things that I don't know if I could have before. So I appreciate the questions. I really do. I really do Because sometimes you don't know what you don't know and then sometimes it's hard to articulate what you do know in a real and practical way.
Speaker 2:And I think I would say I don't think you understand how gifted you are at articulating it in a practical way, like in how I'm glad we did this, just because more people got to hear. Well, seriously, just because it's great and it's it's just a joy to have someone be able to talk to you that way and understand. So, thank you, everyone needs more of that.
Speaker 1:All right. Everybody needs more of Kim Myers Everyone needs more of Kim Myers.
Speaker 2:Come get you some Kim Myers, okay.
Speaker 1:Well. Again, thank you for being here and for those listening. I hope that we have brought some questions forward that you might've had and I can't wait to see what's next with this podcast. Cool, all right, bye, bye. I hope that you found one thing that you can connect with this week to help build your daily faith life. If you'd like, you can join us on our Facebook community Practical Faith for weekly prayers, questions and, most weeks, a 10-minute devotion. I also invite you to check out St Andrew's website, standrewmethodistorg. Connect with us through different podcasts, online for worship, or come join us. We're always here to connect your life to your faith.
